It Doesn't Hit You

Until you really meet an outsider.

It occurred to me that the Berkeley ICA brothers are such quality guys. Brothers, if you are reading this, you guys are seriously top notch, even if I act like I hate you sometimes. You guys are sincere, considerate, hospitable, funny and a huge blessing to so many, and you guys admit your mistakes and humbly learn from them.

Who couldn't praise God for that?!

I love you guys. Please go find amazing wives.

:)

Much love,
Vicky

Embrace Diversity

Waiting for the school bus with my neighbors at age six.

Rochester, MN.

Thanks Brandon

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained”

C.S. Lewis

Brandon shared this quote with me yesterday. Kinda a relief...but still a high calling. After hearing this, I started thinking, "Dude, C.S. Lewis is pretty legit. Maybe I should flip open all those C.S. Lewis books sitting on my bookshelf."

But more importantly, love. Love, love love. Oh, looooove. Ugh.

Another C.S. Lewis quote that gave me the chills.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

I am so scared of giving myself to more PEOPLE. Broken, needy PEOPLE.

It is so damn painful.

My New Favorite Quote

Don't be a whoosie. Just grow some balls and do it.

Answered Prayer. Better Than I Imagined.

On Tuesday, I was feeling pretty sad.

Prayed to God,

"I really just want to be loved. Please give me a date this weekend."

Of course, I had something in mind when I asked that.

But God, like always, had something better in His mind.

Edit: March 14.

God actually gave me a lot of good hangouts with some of my guy friends this weekend, and I jokingly called them "dates." But in the end, it was only His love that could really satisfy.

It's so awesome when your "date" can control the weather.

Thanks, Jesus.

Humbled.

Many times people say, "I will pray for you," and I smile and say thanks.

But on the inside, I shrug it off and don't expect them to because humans have a tendency to forget and I know from personal experience that I've failed many times to persevere in intercessory prayer.

Even though I've been living in this mentality that people don't really know how to help me and I don't need people to help me,

these past months...weeks...days...

my FRIENDS really prayed.

God is redeeming their prayers,

and showing me grace upon grace.

All my heart can say is,

"thank you."

Dear God, I think I'm starting to get it. Kinda.

You are generous.

This job search process has been absolutely ridiculous. Everything that comes to me...

is TOTALLY not of me.