Curly Hair and Spirituality

This is going sound ridiculous, but I was thinking this in the bathroom today.

Our sinful nature is a lot like curly hair. It's always going to be there, as long as we're in the flesh.

For over a decade now, my hair has been curly. I was born with straight hair, but then I hit puberty and then started looking like Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

My hair can stay straight if I burn the life out of it with my straightener, but once it gets humid or any dampness hits it, it starts to frizz and curl. The moisture could also come from within myself- my head sweats. I have very little control over the level of moisture around me and dude, I would LOVE it if I could control my sweat.

As Christians, we often try to straighten out our lives. We try to be perfect and hide our inadequacies. Then life gets a little messy, circumstances become less than ideal, and our imperfections begin to pop out. Or the inner battle within our own heart messes with our lives too.

And for some reason, we're surprised.

I have tried so hard in the past years to hide my curls. I watch the weather forecast not to know how to dress the next day, but to know how to do my hair the next day.

It's so much work to hide curly hair. That's the beauty of Herbal Essences hair products. It has convinced me that there can be beauty in curly hair, AND it saves me so much time.

It's so much work to hide sin. That's the beauty of the gospel. It has convinced me that there can be beauty in the broken. And we're free.

But it's a lifelong battle. I'm always going to struggle with the fact that my hair is curly. And I'm always going to be disappointed by my sinful nature in the flesh too.

Okay I'm done.

Hahaha, If you thought this analogy was lame, I've got pleeenty more.

:)

Traveling Mercies

I'm never taking a safe trip for granted again.

It's funny how some people just have to learn things the hard way...to learn them.

I do a lot of stupid things alone. Go hiking in the wilderness, go running through the streets of Oakland, go to an empty gym at wee hours of the morning, and the list goes on.

On my way back from Chicago, I got semi-mugged by a kid on a bus. He tried to take my iPod, which was sitting...on my lap. I was by myself on a bus in a very dangerous part of town. I assumed it'd be alright since it was 10:30 am.

A man sitting right across from me TACKLED the kid down and got my iPod back and threw the kid off the bus. Then he sat back down as if nothing had happened.

God's angels protected me.

I could've been attacked at gunpoint by a full-grown man. But it was a 14? year old kid. AND someone still tackled the kid down for me.

Isn't it amazing that God loves girls who don't use their brains?...

After all this happened, I was really scared but also really sad.

It breaks my heart that the kid had to steal. Two days prior, I went to a huge church with escalators. The sanctuary is twice the size of Kodak Theater. David Crowder will be leading worship in two weekends. They have so many connections and the church has a lot of great things going on. Yet there are so many poor people right down the street. So much crime.

Is this really what the American church should look like? Am I...really following Christ with the way I live in luxury today?

New Life Goal

Seriously. It's about time.

If only life were that easy.

This makes me sad:

The production of hydrochloric acid (HCl) by parietal cells in the stomach is stimulated by gastrin, acetylcholine (ACh), and histamine. Parasympathetic nerve fibers stimulate G cells to secrete gastrin. This polypeptide hormone, when released into capillary blood, binds to specific receptors on the basolateral membrane of the parietal cell and acts to increase intracellular calcium. The most active form of gastrin is G17, which exhibits about five times the biological activity of G34.

ACh, a neurotransmitter released from parasympathetic nerve terminals, binds to M3 muscarinic receptors on the basolateral membrane also to increase intracellular calcium levels. Histamine, released from mast cells in the gastric mucosa, binds to H2 receptors on the basolateral membrane to increase intracellular cAMP levels.

Blah blAAAhhh blah wah wah wah blaggghhh?!

Likes

Treasure

More Than I Deserve

I've come to this point where I realize that absolutely NOTHING I have has been earned. And I have SO much. My family, my friends, my job, my home, the things I enjoy today...came to me in my weakness because the Lord had mercy on me. Incredible mercy. Unbelievable mercy.

The journey to this point has been full of tears.

But I'm happy. I'm really happy.

The Lord is not done with me yet. And I'm sure another round of humbling is to come.

There's freedom in knowing you don't have it all figured out. So often, I want to think I do.

Jesus, keep me sorrowful, thankful, joyful.

Clothed

There was once this girl whose heart contained a lot of insecurity. Shame. Hurt. Fear.

She tried to cover her broken heart with clothes. A shirt called good credentials. These pants called athleticism. A hat called musical ability. Shoes called ministry success stories.

God loved this girl.

He allowed college to be ridiculously difficult. She whimpered.

He allowed her ankles to be broken and her bones to be fractured. She was in pain.

He allowed her musical dreams to be shattered. She was terribly ashamed.

He allowed the girls she loved the most to be hurt by her. She felt so defeated.

God loved this girl.

This girl was so confused. She felt naked, without anything good and she panicked before God.

“God, look at me. I'm naked. I have nothing. I am nothing. I’m so sorry.”

God told her, “You’re not naked. Look at you. I made you beautiful in my sight. I stripped the pride off of you so that both you and I could see MY perfect righteousness clothing you. MY blood covering you. MY love around you. I died for you so that you can be a new creation.

Stop. trying. so. hard.

Go play now and be free, my child.”





God. I don’t know what to say.

Why are you so good to me?

But God demonstrates His love for me in this. While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me.

Life.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Earlier this week, I found out one of my closest friends is moving away to New York City at the end of the month. She's been an amazing friend and sister to me for the past four years. Though I'm happy that the Lord provided a job for her husband and a new direction for her new family, it broke my heart to know I will have to say bye.

I DIED on the inside. I love her so much.

It's been four years of getting to know each other. I saw her meet her husband, get married and have a kid. It was beautiful. Four years of opening myself up to her and her opening up to me. So many memories. So much joy. But now, so much...sorrow.

Why does "Lord, have YOUR way" so often have to entail saying bye and watching people come and go?

I've had so many of these weeks where I wished I just didn't care about people. It's really hard to take my eyes off of me.

So many friends have left the Bay Area. People that I love so much. One after another. I want to leave too. It's too painful. Why can't I leave, God? My heart physically hurts. And getting to know new people is a lot of work.

I don't want to say bye anymore.

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
Help me to sing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
I'll choose to sing hallelujah