Thanksgiving

The past couple months have been weird. Weird because I'm actually embracing the life the Lord has given me. The bumps have come, but the Lord has been with me. I am floored by His unwavering love to me.

Recently, one of the older sisters at church asked me to describe what life would ideally look like in a year, and also to describe the life situation I would fear the most. I must not be reading much these days, because it's really hard for me to write. The only word I can think of to describe everything is: weird.

The weird thing is that my ideal situation would be to continue living the exact life I have right now. 

And what's also weird is that this very life situation is what I would fear the most. 

Perhaps I have reached this stage of contentment because I treat this year as my last in Berkeley. Yet something I keep wondering is, what if it's not my last. What if God has planned for me to do this for another year? Another 5, 10, 50 years? Will I hate life in a year?

Last Thanksgiving, I was basically in the same situation, but miserable.

This year, I'm loving it. It is an added bonus that Berkeley has the best ice cream and coffee ever.

Next year, ???

Like the Israelites, like any human being seeking to follow the Lord, my heart will want to worship other things. It will desire love from broken cisterns and it will be discontent in the midst of the Lord's abundant grace. 

It's amazing that circumstances could actually be the same, but my heart could be in totally different places. 

It's also amazing that my devotion may not be steadfast, yet His love for me never changes. I am His child. 

Next year is in His hands. Today is also in His hands.

One day at a time. What an adventure.

This is my God.