Kristin recorded the first time I led worship in college, sophomore year at Navs.
I just found the file and started listening.
The collective sound of the congregation, my spiritual family at Berkeley, singing praises to the Lord, made me realize just how much people mean to me.
These past two months, I've been living in denial of how much I actually care about people. I told my parents over break, in tears, "Whatever. SUIBIAN! I don't care about these people. They just suck out of my life and make me miserable and hurt. I am SO HURT. I can't take it anymore!!! I'm going to move on from Berkeley, fly far away to Boston, maybe Asia, forget about this, and find new things to deal with."
While listening to the worship set, I could pick out certain voices. I matched voices to faces, faces to memories, and despite how much I've been telling myself I don't care, I actually really love.
What makes the worship recording soooo beautiful is that we were all singing to a God that loves despite our brokenness and sinfulness. And we were forgiven.
What makes friendships beautiful is the fact that there's love shared between two imperfect people. And friends forgive.
I've been a really imperfect friend to so many. And I think I'm about ready to start asking people to forgive me.
Geez, God's doing crazy things this week.
Yeah.
Craaazzaaayyy shit. Haha, God, You're CRAZY!!!
