About two months ago I was driving back from church with my dad, and out of nowhere, he said, “It’s natural to have kids. You know, it’s part of life. You learn a lot, being a parent. A lot about how God loves us.”
I chuckled and replied with an “okay." And then it was awkwardly quiet. Story of my life...
Yet those words never left my musings. I am far from being a parent, but if I weren’t so slow in the brain, I think I would’ve replied to my dad that I’ve also learned so much about how God loves in simply being my parents’ daughter. It’s just taken me two months to think of a response.
Actually...even if I thought of that response, I wouldn't say it, because then I'd start getting all emotional and teary. Hahaha.
I recently went on crazy long hike to the top of Yosemite falls with my parents. As adventurous and outdoorsy as my dad is, he totally flipped out when I tried to get close to the ledge of the highest waterfall in North America for the sake of getting a super cool picture. If my mom had seen me try to take that picture, she probably would’ve fainted, but she was too tired to even watch me be stupid.
I can tell my parents sometimes still see me as the baby whose butt they wiped in ‘87. For me to do something idiotic like try to take a picture that could cause my physical death naturally made my dad die a little on the inside. The image of an infant falling off a cliff probably flashed through his mind as I inched toward the waterfall.
The weird thing is that my dad’s cry of panic, although painful on his part, made me feel incredibly loved.
My dad didn’t call to me so that I could stay alive and obey him more. He called because he wanted his kid to be safe, to enjoy another meal, to experience another year of knowing Jesus Christ. As I've grown "older," my reason for a lot of what I do or don't do is because "my parents love me too much."
As I’ve grown to believe that my parents love me, it has made me want to love and honor them all the more. It’s their deep love for me as parents that compels my response as a daughter.
That's why I said that I've learned a lot about God's love for me through being a daughter of two imperfect, but amazing parents. There’s a reason why it says in the Bible that we love because He first loved us. True love naturally compels. We learn to obey because "He loves me too much."
Knowing how stubbornly I’ve run away from God’s ways for me in the past, I’m pretty sure His heart broke as He watched me hurt myself. So often I stand on the ledge not in faith, but in sin. As I whole-heartedly sought love in things that would not satisfy, He still wanted to rescue me.
And the crazy thing is in those times of my steepest dangers, He cried to me. Just like my dad yelled at me out of deep concern the top of Yosemite Falls, my God has called out to me again. And again. And again. So that I may have life, and life to the full.
There's the fear that is cast out by perfect love. And then there's the perfect love that instills this fearful awe.
In recent years, I’ve been realizing more and more that most of my friends actually come from broken families in one way or another. I am incredibly blessed to have parents who love Jesus, but I know it's a rare blessing, and also one that in some ways demands great stewardship. Our relationship hasn't been perfect, but it's definitely been good.
The cry for a father-figure often sounds louder than any other pain. I remember reading a book by Piper that described how the level of desperation to which a girl seeks for a man’s (or even a woman's) love is inversely related to the depth of her relationship with her dad. (That's also the only thing I remember from that ENTIRE Piper book. LOL) Nevertheless, that statement really changed the way I tried to love those around me, especially the girls I spend time with.
It’s comforting to know that Jesus’ relationship with God was primarily son-father. His deepest treasure was His relationship with His Father, and Jesus was so, sooo sure of His Father's love for Him.
Our relationship with God through Jesus Christ offers exactly what our souls were first created to thirst for. The love we can have in Christ is always relevant. Everyone wants a daddy.
We are loved more than we can comprehend. (Ephesians 3:19)
So much more...but man, does it take faith to believe it sometimes.
